So, he left you. So, she is 23, works out, and you can probably bounce coins off his favorite parts of her body. So, life is shockingly horrendous for you right now. I am going to give you the next sixty seconds to drown yourself in self-pity….

Ok, now that’s over, you need take a few deep breaths, compose yourself, and move on. Now you need to suck it up. The list of things wrong with your life is immeasurable, but let’s shift attention for a minute. Instead of focusing on all the things going wrong, I want you to spend the next thirty minutes taking inventory of the good things in your life, the blessings in disguise. The small, tiny facts about your new life that make you smile (I’ll even take facts that don’t make you turn into the weeping woman you’ve become so acclimated with). They may sound futile, and that’s okay. I want you to make this list, print multiple copies, and hang them various places. This way, every time you start to think about how unbearable your life has become, you can be reminded of the small pieces of delight, or the simply tolerable circumstances, that exist. I also want you to continue to add to the list. When something gives you the slightest feeling of contentment, write it down.  After a while the things on your list will begin to overshadow the desolation you are feeling right now. Can you imagine what a glorious time that will be?

It’s been one month since I found out about her. A solid month of crying, mourning, and wallowing, but I’m going to choose to lead by example. So, here’s a list of the pleasantries in my life.

1. More one-on-one time with my little man. Nothing. Beats. This.
2. The bed is so much easier to make when only one person is sleeping in it. For some reason, my ex hated using the top sheet, so making the bed was a daily nuisance. Now, half of the bed stays made 100% of the time. I get up, quickly shake the top sheet into place, lay the comforter over top, and arrange the few decorative pillows I have. I can have the bed made in ten seconds flat.  Pretty impressive if you ask me.
3. There is less laundry, and the laundry that is there, always makes it into the hamper. How is it that my one year old can find the hamper, but a grown man can’t? Seriously! I know they see the hamper. I know, that they know, what it’s there for.  How hard is it to move the remaining one inch so that your clothes actually make it to where they belong? Hello…the extra inch matters!
4. More closet space. No clarification needed.
5. No hair on the sink. Why do the women end up being the ones cleaning the hair off the sink? My ex would complain about my hair in the shower (I do shed a lot, but I also cleaned it up), but he made the counter look like a mammoth with alopecia invaded our bathroom. Gross!
6. I have control of the television. Well, the control is now split between my son and I.  I no longer must watch all the mind-numbing super hero shows. You know the ones with the dreadful acting. Now it’s only cartoons and crime shows for this Mama! Score!
7. I’m becoming an excellent Lego builder. I may be far from becoming an engineer or an architect, but my skills are improving daily. I am also not allowing my talents to be devalued by the fact that my biggest fan is a one year old. He watches Bob the Builder. He knows what good, solid building looks like, and he is exceedingly fascinated by my handiwork. So there!
8. The dog is happier. She never liked him anyways, and I’ve always found her to be a good judge of character.
9. Best diet ever!!! The thought of them together makes me want to heave, so my appetite is not what it used to be. Bring on bikini season!
10. Less dishes. I swear my ex never used the same glass twice. Every drink refill obligated the need for a new glass. Even if the refill was for the exact same drink. His wastefulness is unmatched!
11. I now have you. Yes, you. The person reading this post right now. My opinion did not matter when it came to my husband leaving. He chose to stray and he chose to leave. I asked, no I begged, for him to stay, but he didn’t. What I had to say did not matter. So, I humbly thank you for reading this and for giving me the validation that my words, my thoughts, and my opinions matter. For you, I have endless gratitude.

Well, that’s it.  That is the start of my list. Do the items on this list currently offset the agony of my situation? No…not even close, but it’s a start. It’s the commencement of my quest to joy, restoration, and happiness, and I hope it inspires you to do the same. You now have the chance to shift your own focus from ruinous thoughts, to constructive thoughts. You deserve the opportunity to locate and reinstate your own happiness.

Psalm 30:5 –  For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime.

Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.